Words // Regret

Regret. Live life without it. Live in the moment. Question nothing, move forward. We make mistakes, we don't make the correct choices, we learn and move on. That is how life is to be lived. But why?

I was fortunate to be raised in a sheltered environment. Father in the military. Mother a dedicated officer's wife. Two older sisters to watch over me. I have always had a roof over my head and a warm meal for dinner. Yes ma'am. No sir. (this is not a southern ideal, it is a sign of respect). My parents paid for my college, supported my goals, dreams and have yet to verbally doubt my decisions. Yet I have failed to succeed in the career of my choice. Am I talented? Yes. Do I do the best I possibly can? Yes. Do I deserve to be considered one of the best? I think so. But in my own mind I will always question whether or not my career has satisfied my definition of success.

As a child of a military officer, I came to accept that it was my duty to serve one's country, do one's duty and do so without question. I was two weeks late in making the decision to attend college on a military scholarship and become an officer in our armed forces. A decision that haunts me to this day. 

Now at age 37, three years past the cutoff age for all branches of the US military, I take a moment at least once a week and reflect on all the opportunities I had to make what should have been a simple decision: to partake on a mission larger than myself. To this day, these beliefs have eluded my own action. And without a doubt my lack of action will always be my greatest regret.